


Put The Dress On, Fuckass

by SilverKunama



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Dresses, F/M, cuteness, inner monologue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-09
Updated: 2011-05-09
Packaged: 2017-10-19 05:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/197282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverKunama/pseuds/SilverKunama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Began as a justification for Karkat in the Three In The Morning dress. Turned into adorableness. Karkat lost a bet, so Jade is helping him dress for the night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Put The Dress On, Fuckass

"I didn't think you were serious!"

"I'm always serious. Don't be silly!"

"Jade, you are so fucking unserious it's a grubfucking amazement Gamzee doesn't worship you as his mirthful gogdamn messiah."

She looks at you, all green eyes and bucktoothed grin, and gogdamn you hate how she can stop you in your tracks with that look she's giving you right now. Then the moment passes, and suddenly she's all business, but you're still stuck with echoes of dazzling bright green.

"We made the bet!" She's protesting, "You lost! You bet Vriska could stay off John for at least ten minutes after we arrived, and you lost by about nine minutes and 58 seconds, and now you gotta pay up. Fair's fair."

No, there is no fucking way in all hell you're gonna go through with this. Not even if the horrorterrors themselves personally requested it, and you let her know. She grabs the front of your shirt, and her volume level goes up to eleven.

"YOU LOST FUCKASS, NOW GET YOURSELF IN THAT BEDROOM AND CHANGE!"

If you were Equius, you would need so many towels right now.

\--------------------

Okay, this is just fucking weird. The fabric is all weird and tight, and compared to your usual shirt, you feel totally exposed. You look down, and sigh. At least she was thoughtful enough to sew a little patch with your symbol to it. You call through the door to let her know you're... well, you're not sure you can call yourself decent, but clothed.

She bursts through the door, and stops. She's staring, and it unnerves you. You're pretty sure your face is fluorescent right now, and you tug uncomfortably at the flowy garment. Jade still hasn't said anything.

"You know, if it looks that bad, I'd be more than happy to change out of this gogdamn piece of shit."

She shakes her head slowly, and this seems to break her trance. She looks up at you, and her cheeks are darker than normal. Hastily, she explains. Apparently your usual clothes are so covering, seeing you like this was a shock to the system. She's better now, she insists. You can go to the party.

"Hey, if I have to dress up, you have to get your fucking party clothes on too! Fair's fair."

She nods, unusually quiet for somebody so chipper, and vanishes into the bathroom for a while. You wait in awkward silence, occasionally tugging uncomfortably at the gogawful dress you've been shoved into. When she finally comes out, you stop breathing.

She's explaining something about it being called dead shuffle or something, and you know that you should have a scathing retort prepared, but you think it's possible you've swallowed your own tongue. Something that's essentially a suit with weird a weird tentacle skirt thing should not be so... you're not even sure what to call it. But you should probably say something, and stop gawking like a pathetic wriggler.

"Coolkid's jaw is going to crack the fucking floor."

She blushes. Damn Strider. And he's going to be laughing at you tonight, you just know. Not on the outside, of course, that would break his coolkid demeanour and Terezi would stop hanging on his every word. Just because fucking spiderbitch couldn't keep her claws out of John for ten fucking minutes. Damn him and his candy-coloured text for getting all of the ladies. All of them.

"Karkat..."

She's mistaken your silence for being uncomfortable. Well, she's not half fucking wrong there. But she's holding her arms out like she wants to give you a hug, and that's embarrassing. Damn those sparkly green eyes. Nobody's watching, though. Maybe you can put up with the humiliation, just for a second, and-

Gog damn she smells good. Suddenly, Terezi's behavior makes a lot more sense. You lean your head against hers - her hair is all soft too - and attempt be sneaky as you inhale deeply. A contented little 'hmm' escapes your lips. Shit, now she's tensed up in your arms and it's going to be really awkward. Yep, now she's pulling away and those horrible green eyes are filled with something you don't quite recognise but suspect is confusion and this is going to suck so bad.

"We... could stay here..."

Her voice is trembling. You're not sure you heard her correctly. Did she actually just say... You ask her to repeat herself. She does. Well. That's an unexpected development. And you have the perfect witty comeback.

"Anything to keep those nooksuckers out there from laughing their gogdamn asses off at my expense."

She laughs, and wraps her arms around your neck and you know what, fuck the coolkid. Fuck the survival of their species, fuck Nepeta's precious shipping grids. You are going to kiss the girl and there's nothing any of those assholes can do about it. And so you do.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is what happens when I can't sleep and get Ideas. It's all Rimbaum's fault, I swear! There are sprites to go with it, and a sketch too. Because I don't need sleep. Sleep is for the weak! Also the sensible.  
> Writing Karkat is oddly difficult, so I'm not sure I got him IC. Then again, he's wearing a dress, so maybe staying in character shouldn't be my highest priority. But I'm pretty sure it DOES sound like the inner monologue of an uncomfortable teenager, so at least I got something right!
> 
> My favourite line from this entire story is "Jade, you are so fucking unserious it's a grubfucking amazement Gamzee doesn't worship you as his mirthful gogdamn messiah."


End file.
